Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
