She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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