Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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