The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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