A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
