3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
