just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
