The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
