I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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