Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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