At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
