be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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