90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize