Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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