I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
