If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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