Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
