Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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