is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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