im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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