This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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