dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
