A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
