The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
