ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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