he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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