I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
we're so committed to being not committed
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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