Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My balls are so social today.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex on a dog bed..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
