So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
