He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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