i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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