I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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