so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
