That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
