Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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