It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
