Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize