Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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