Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything