When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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