went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.