Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
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but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
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Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.