What a fucking waste of an outfit
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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