Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
