I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
