Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
