it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
