This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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