It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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