Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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