I love black thongs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
