OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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