Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
