Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
