Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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