D3 body, D1 cock
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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