I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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