He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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