why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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