i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
