pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
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Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
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Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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