If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wear drunk well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize