if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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