i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
