You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
