my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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