K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
