i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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