never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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