I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
